Germany

Disappear No Angels

The number of ways in which Eurovision entries are chosen is surprisingly large given that your choice is limited to a national final or an internal selection. The Grands Prix and Eurosongs and myriad other festivals that take place across the continent between December and March all have some distinguishing feature; no two are exactly alike, although they may take after one another. Some countries chop and change between holding finals and simply announcing who will represent them; others stick to national selections but vary the way they go about them; while still others are so attached to their formats and convinced of their success that they leave well alone. In some cases this works; in others it does not – which makes those broadcasters who maintain national finals without making any adjustments to them even if they produce a string of failures all the more striking for their lack of insight and/or ambition. One such country is Germany.

Along with their brothers and sisters in the Big Four, the Germans have had a rough time of it on the Eurovision scoreboard in recent years. After following in the footsteps of the UK and coming last in 2005, the format of their national final was tweaked to narrow the field of chart acts competing, presumably with the idea that this would put more of a focus on quality. The change was largely successful; the songs that made it through were not. Though both of high calibre, No No Never and Frauen Regier'n Die Welt failed to make an impact on the televoters of Europe. Recent claims suggest that in Roger Cicero's case at least this may have been very different under juries, but that's not the way the contest works these days. The Germans who voted them to victory might have had better taste that the rest of the continent, but that doesn't alter the fact that the system which produced them failed to come up with a song with broad appeal. And using the same system in 2008 has led to the same result.

A piece of well-produced pop that wouldn't feel out of place in MTV's European Top Twenty, Disappear is setting its stall on completely the wrong street by competing in the Eurovision Song Contest. Very much an airplay kind of track, No Angels' performance in the national final proved that it translates awkwardly to the stage, offering little in the way of visual incident or impact besides the ubiquitous wind machine. It is not a song which lends itself to the situation being improved without appearing overbaked, either - although the girls would pull off the greatest gimmick of the contest if they actually managed to disappear at the end of their performance (a simple cross-fade from a locked-off camera to a pre-recorded shot from the same position would do it). But then the fact that the song needs something like this to ensure that anyone even notices it, especially so early in the run, speaks volumes. Its draw may be its death knell, even if the prognosis was stark to begin with.

Two things may yet save Disappear from providing Germany with another last place in the final (which I see as being a more likely result for them than for the UK this year, if only just): one is the fact that it actually means something, that its message is clear and that its minimalist composition is well in keeping with the lyrics, which may earn it some brownie points here and there; the other is that even in the absence of Austria, No Angels should be a big enough name for them to be shown a little mercy by their other neighbours. I'm not sure they will be by anyone else - they sing well, but their voices are a little hard to take to unless you like the 'great-together-individually-unique' approach of girl groups down the ages. If it fails to win them any points, the least we can hope for in response is that NDR is emboldened to alter its own approach to the contest. There's only so many times you can flog a dead horse.